I'm Here Even Though I Hate Myself

I'm lost

I'm imperfect

one person in the endless echo of the universe waiting to be forgotten

I'm insignificant

I'm imperfect

I'm the face you ignored today that your unconscious mind will use to populate a dream

I'm not an artist

I'm imperfect

I'm gathering dust on a digital shelf while fading from your mind

I'm isolated

I'm imperfect

And if you can feel my words you might help me defeat my loneliness or at least numb my emotions

I'm still here even though I hate myself

because the courage in my heart will always be a paradox

I'm guarding my thin slice of paradise between old buildings and the dreams that never became true

the purpose of my life is limited by the painful beauty of my freedom

and exists because of it

I'm the sum total of my mistakes

and If you see any beauty in that it is because I found the strength to own them

I'm still lost

I'm still imperfect

I'm still here